Being a woman- crime. Punishement torture and death sentence.

It was a mixed day. Happy as well as sad. Happy because, it was a good friend`s birthday. Sad because well things are just sad now a days. Even if I feel like, I just cannot feel happy.
I was thinking, I tried for 4 years to save my marriage. I tried everything, from counseling to prayers. I tried everything, because I wanted to give my children a father. I guess I was also in the cycle of abuse as is known. I was so depressed, and my self confidence had hit rock bottom. I remember the times when he used to say; that I should be thankful to him that he married me-otherwise nobody would have married me. I remember the cycles of violence followed by a small time when he will show some love, and then again violence.
Today I was just thinking what was the breaking point- was it when he turned me out in 2008, after I had trusted him again and set up the whole house we had taken on rent. Or was it when it was revealed to me, that he had hacked my email account, and sent emails to prove that I am of loose character, so that he can easily get a divorce.
I know one thing- every authority, be it the judges, be it the C.D.M.O or be it the police, every authority has been and is still trying that we go back to him. They don’t understand I am afraid to trust him again, after everything I have been through. The emphasis in this country is that the woman’s place is her matrimonial home, no matter whether she gets love, respect and security or not. Every authority sees him as the victim and me as the trouble maker, because I am not ready to settle the cases with him.
Another thing which has become crystal clear to me is that – LAWS ARE WOMEN FRIENDLY-WHEN THEY ARE DEAD. Dowry harassment has taken place, when the woman is burnt. Sex determination has occurred when the female feticide occurs. If a woman survives by chance, she is assumed to be mis- using the laws. Every authority sees her as the criminal.
The cases go on for years. Woman is left high and dry. They are either not earning, or if earning, left on her own to look after the children too. Even if she is earning, she has to take leave to go to court, she has to pay the lawyers, while she has to bring up her children too. And if she bends down, and compromises after taking some money- all fingers point to her and tell her – see we said it you were lying just to extract money….
So what does she do… continue facing harassment. So is it a crime being a woman in this country.